Things are not going as planned.

I have accumulated a giant ridiculous list of links I’ve wanted to blog about but it turns out that trying to sort of the moving of 6 years of life by March 4 takes up a lot of time (what with all the partying , er packing, that needs to be done).

I really don’t see how I’m going to get my ass on a plane on March 4 in any sort of orderly manner. It feels like the recent chaos is getting bigger not smaller. Instead of solving problems, or getting things done, I’m really just eliminating things from my list altogether like “well, its not essential so I guess I just won’t do that.”

And I had envisioned some cool blog about the whole process – I wanted to have a series of posts under the categories “Things I’ll Miss About Madrid”, “Things I Won’t Miss About Madrid”, “Things To Do Before I Leave”, etc…

No, not really happening, would require much too much time to sit, and contemplate what is happening. Once again, I have not been able to take my most intense personal experiences here (like when I was doing my long tortured application for residency) and turn it into a blog. I guess I just need distance or something.

Todays list of things to do:

  • Teach three English classes I have no desire to teach but I so desperately need every penny that I have to do it.
  • Do a second sorting through of my books, to see really, I mean really, which I can leave and which I must must must take with me even though it will cost a fortune to send them.
  • Start sorting through my clothes, eliminating all but the most essential/ practical (big lacy red party dress stays, sniffle).
  • Have a little cry as I go through all the things I will be leaving behind.
  • Feel guilty about my materialism and try  to lecture myself  about being a little more Zen about the whole situation, object are only objects, etc….
  • Give up, have a glass of wine, eat cheese and quietly panic.