I have just been sitting here for about 4 hours trying to write a personal statement that I have to submit online by Feb. 1.

I know. That’s cutting it close. They tell you you should leave tons of time, but hey, I’m applying for a journalism program, if I can’t write in 4 days, what kind of a writer am I right? (She laughs nervously to herself).

I can write. I know this. For all my neurotic insecurities about a million stupid things, I know I can express a reasonably clear thought in written form.

I cannot, however, write about myself. Call it my Achilles heel, but it has long been evident to me that I would not be hired to write my own autobiography.

For example. I have managed to pour out 1056 words (for a 750 to 1000 word essay) so far, and have not managed to convey the significance of my time in Spain,  nor have I explained why I would be a good student. But I have babbled about “the big questions in life”, and  mentioned my favorite children’s book. Ugh. I just lose it.

Double UGH!!!

Really, the essay sucks because in the end the voice you are having to temper is the one in your head squealing “Oooooh! Pick me!! I’m ever so good!!!” like Lisa Simpson when the teachers went on strike. They tell you you should be honest, be yourself, but if I did that I’m afraid my essay would come out as follows:

“Hey! All I do is read, write, and argue. I’m a big fat book worm, but also a people person. I can talk into a camera well and that is my most marketable skill. I’ve been in Spain for six years, so I’ve got a second language, and international experience (beyond just dating Europeans I swear!!). I’m coming home to a country I haven’t know for the better part of my adult life, and need a boost back into the job market, which is shit right now cuz of the crisis, so please let me into grad school. Oh, and by the way, do you know anyone willing to give me thousands and thousands of dollars to help pay for this cuz I’ve been an illegal immigrant for 6 years and have no savings? Thanks.”

Ah. That was therapeutic. I think I’ve done all i can do today. Time to sleep on it.