OR ?

I have been inspired by an awesome article in the Nation by Roseanne Cash on why she’d be a better VP than Sarah Palin. Not hard to come up with reasons for almost any of us who aren’t brain dead, but her reasons are especially funny:

3. Church and State

Like the Governor, I now also believe that my will is perfectly aligned with God’s will. When Governor Palin said that it was God’s will for the Alaska pipeline to be built and asked for people to pray for that to happen, I was really inspired by her confidence in the absolute, seamless integration of her will and God’s will. I have begun practicing this kind of supreme confidence on a smaller scale, but I am sure that I can quickly move to national issues. Starting with the sartorial, I know that it is God’s will that I have the entire Chanel collection for the fall season, including those adorable high-heeled booties that were all over the runway shows.

(A couple things I’m still having trouble with regarding the will of God: I knew it was God’s will that I win the Grammy in 2007 for my last record, but Bob Dylan won. This is clearly the work of Satan, but shouldn’t my will/God’s will have been strong enough to override that? And this Alaska pipeline–if it is God’s will to have the pipeline built, then why isn’t it built already? On a related topic, I don’t own a single piece of Chanel.)

My reasons? Here’s a few off the top of my head:

  • 1) I read many publications, I can name several even if you ask me when I’m not expecting the question. And I read them in 3 languages (working on 4).

I know that John McCain will do that and I, as his vice president, families we are blessed with that vote of the American people and are elected to serve and are sworn in on January 20, that will be our top priority is to defend the American people.

  • 3) I’ve got great foreign relations skills and experience – in fact all my boyfriends for the past 8 years or so have been foreign. 🙂
  • 4) I can be just as smiley cute as she is, but I promise never, ever to wink at an audience. Never have, never will. I know the limits of good taste and professionalism.
  • 5) Judge for yourself, but I think I can deliver a script/speech better than she can, and I write all my own stuff. (browse archives before June 2007)

C’mon folks! This is an easy game! Why would you be better than Sarah Palin?

P.S. I wanted to call her out on the non-prescription glasses too but the fact is, goddamn her I think they’re cute, and once considered getting some myself, the ones in the photo belong to my dear friend Leah, if she wasn’t so blind, I might already have stolen them for personal use.

Advertisements